At least I like tothink I could have.But could I?There's a song by Leonard Cohen called "Everybody knows". It begins with"Everybody knows that the di...e are loaded..." and it was true I knew thatgambling was a scam which always favoured the house but I was sure ofmyself. It wasn't possible that I could fit into Rita's stockings,suspenders, panties and skirt (yet here I stood wearing them). She wassmaller than me, so her clothes couldn't fit me, could they?So given the benefit of hindsight I. I ran them by Tee and she thought he was handsome but seemed ambivalent about actually meeting. She kept saying that we would have to meet for coffee first to see if there was chemistry and that there were no guarantees about anything happening right away. Scheduling a meet was tough, especially with their schedules. It seemed like it just wasn’t going to happen so I put it on the back burner for almost a year, all the while continuing to see Tee.It was toward the end of that year that I. Time passed.Now thirteen and entering puberty, April was given her facts by Holly, who made sure to emphasize that April not let herself become pregnant before she knew she was ready.One Saturday morning, David ran out to a softball tourney with his buddies. His son was too sick to get out of bed and Holly was on the committee that was running the afternoon chinese auction!Pissed that David dumped his son on her, Holly nevertheless ordered April to stay home and tend to Denny, if need be.She. When I heard your voices I was able to pretend for a moment that you were still around. I know you must be thinking what pathetic loser lives his life like that. My answer is no one lives like that and neither did I. I died the day I found the gifts l sent to Sue left at my doorsteps. I have been existing but only because I was too weak to take my own life. I know this letter will give you many sleepless nights but really, you were just kids who did not know better. Don’t beat yourself over it..
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